My ex is telling lies about me


When they got hitched, that number dropped to 1 in 10—but still, that means the woman you exchanged vows with could be deceiving you on a near-daily basis.

my ex is telling lies about me

But, the truth is, no one wants to share a bed with Pinocchio. So when should your B.

my ex is telling lies about me

And her need to protect her image may overpower her desire for honesty. How Do You Stack Up? More like four. Guess again. But, really, once we hit a certain age, we're freaking out inside, worrying our eggs are expiring soon. Not always. Problem is, women know men relish their freedom—and that commandeering every night of your week can push you away. She totally would.

If your wife sounds like a Hallmark card, she probably is genuinely expressing her love—just with a little exaggeration. But according to her mental calculations, she has more to gain by keeping her mouth shut—and the relationship happy—than by complaining.

My ex is telling lies about me?

Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Your Internet history isn't the only dirty little secret in your relationship. Listen for these seven common catchphrases—and prepare to call her bluff. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.

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More From Relationship Advice.My ex and I broke up sometime ago. It didn't end well, he left me for another girl and he is still currently with her. School just started for me, he's in college but his girlfriend is still in high school with me.

One of my friends today that still stays in contact with him came up to me and said "so is it true that you cheated on Chase when ya'll were still dating? She was good friends with him while we were dating so she's taking more his side than mine.

She told me he told her that when they were talking on facebook. From the same friend earlier, I also found out that he was calling me a liar and I was always "so hard on him for every little thing". None of it's true and none of the people stick up for me. He was the one that treated me bad and was lying all the time and he left me for this girl that he is with now. He's making me look like a bad person. What do I do? I don't want to say anything to him.

I blocked him from facebook when he left me and I would never speak to him again. It's been over a year since I spoke to him and all of a sudden I'm hearing these lies about me from him.

Seriously hunny, just ignore it all. His current girlfriend will find out in time what he is like and chances are you guys could end up being friends :. Just don't sink to his level and start rumours yourself, otherwise you will look the worst one in the end for being petty. I think he'll get the message. Please help me, thanks. Answer Save. His current girlfriend will find out in time what he is like and chances are you guys could end up being friends : Just don't sink to his level and start rumours yourself, otherwise you will look the worst one in the end for being petty.

Penguin Hunta I think he'll get the message ; jk, just unadd him on facebook!!! Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.My ex-husband was verbally abusive throughout our marriage, and we were in counselling for most of it. The next few years were incredibly tough, but I am lucky to be surrounded by great family and friends. I also work full time so life is pretty hectic. Access has been an issue lately.

Parental Alienation: My Ex Is Filling My Kids’ Minds With Lies

For the first few years of our separation he decided what dates he wanted the boys, and unless I had something on I was fine with this. We are both now in relationships, however, so this year I changed access to a stable pattern more typical of these kinds of arrangements. Because this move was initiated by me, he had issues. So it leaves me with a dilemma: should I continue to say nothing or correct their lies?

The two youngest are struggling at the moment. I would welcome any thoughts on how best to deal with this. You have behaved in a mature manner in that you have not denigrated your ex-husband so that your children would not suffer. This is a situation that unfortunately is not uncommon and the ongoing changing of the access goalposts can go on for years after the relationship has been dissolved.

It seems that your ex-husband is still emotionally involved with you in that his current reaction seems to be in response to your new, stable relationship and this has invoked an old response pattern in him. When you were together, he was abusive and tried to exercise power over you. This current situation seems like another version of this, and I wonder if you need to look at your past pattern and learn from your history.

In the past, you suffered for a long time before accepting that you had to take action, no matter how difficult and upsetting it was. Now, you may again have to take action that is challenging and unsavoury. It is particularly difficult because of your huge desire to protect your children.

Your children are hearing a very one-sided story, and it is hard for them to differentiate this from the truth. While they might not yet need to hear of the violence in your relationship, they need to know some of the history so that they can operate from a more informed position. Your older children seem to be in a better place to the younger two.

My ex-partner is spreading terrible lies about me

Would it be possible for you to initiate a family meeting where you all discuss what is important? This might allow the older two to name the issues, and the younger two could take some guidance from this. The children may find it easier to talk and hear the truth if there is a professional present; you could consider a family therapy session familytherapyireland.

Relationships Ireland, based in Dublin, has a service called Teen Between for children of separating parents, where separation issues can be spoken about in an accessible manner. It seems that all of you need to have your troubling experience validated, and this is a time in the family — as both parents are in new relationships — when intervention and support might offset future suffering and trauma.

Silence was your gift to your children, but it also contributed to your position as an abused partner. Now is the time to reconsider this as a strategy. You may need help to sort it out in your own mind before speaking to your children. Legal advice might be needed, too, as you might have to go to court to have access validated.

To memorialise the victims and put names and faces to the statistics, The Irish Times plans to publish a series of obituaries for those who have died. Covid Stories: Grieving through a pandemic has added new dimensions to losing a parent.

Changes in our behaviour will affect the transmission of other infectious diseases.Breakups, even expected and mutual ones, often feel like a kick a teeth, but a breakup feels like a mugging when it comes to light that our ex has been in effect, poisoning the waters by saying things about us that are not true or are certainly exaggerated. Why would somebody who we shared a relationship with and who we believe that we were loving to, choose to spread misinformation designed to discredit us?

When this person shares their reasons with you or you hear it through the grapevine, you struggle to reconcile this version of them with the person you thought they were or the relationship experiences that you had. Control who is in touch with you and in fact, sever ties. They want to preserve a certain image. Stay deluded and avoid responsibility.

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Some people always give themselves and others very similar reasons for their breakups. Save face. Some people overestimate their capacity for a relationship or oversell things and Future Fake.

Keep the harem intact. Control you. As humans, we have a disposition to concern ourselves with what others think. It hurts when we do our best to be decent people, to love and care generously sometimes too much soonly for that to be mistaken for weakness and treated like this bad thing that makes us tricky to offload. A good chunk of the pain felt is around that lack of control over what people think.

Even if we speak up, it may just make the situation worse, after all, if these people have decided to believe this stuff, they may decide that us sticking up for ourselves is us trying to convince and convert. You will be trying to control the uncontrollable. The main image that you need to correct is of your ex.

Say your piece once if needed and then let the chips fall where they may. The best rebuttal in this situation is to live your life well instead of hiding away or devoting your life to defending and convincing this person or their homies or cronies.

Trust that their actions will manifest themselves in their lives in some way and go about your business, probably with your teeth gritted at first. I still occasionally think of two particular social circles who were misinformed by a couple of my exes.

I also feel that he wanted to play victim so that some mothering type would sweep him up, which is exactly what happened months later. Sometimes a chance for you to pity them is the ONLY thing a damaged person has to offer! I have a close friend that I also work with they put our desks next to each other four years ago and Friend Love blossomed in no time and she was dating another coworker, who joined our company about a year ago.

Is it going to impact you in the long term? More than likely not. Her behavior declined until she had to live in an assisted living home with round the clock care, which he paid for. Pass it on.Dumpees, on the other hand, find it difficult to pretend. They are oftentimes so heartbroken, their ex can almost sense it a mile away. Here are 11 signs your ex is pretending to be over you. If you catch your ex gazing at you and quickly averting his or her eyes away from you not once, but many times, you can be almost certain that he or she still has feelings for you.

Eye contact aversion is an important non-verbal expression that signals interestattention and most prominently— respect. The reason why this sign is so important is that when your ex is truly pretending to be over you, he or she becomes self-aware of his or her non-verbal communication, and therefore, puts too much attention on pretending.

As a result of unwavering anxiety, your ex succumbs to the pressure and begins to pretend to be over you. In other words, an overly-conscious ex starts having trouble staying true to his or her real intentions and acts out of character. Very seldom do human beings actually think about what they are like when they are normal not anxious. The same goes for lying. When people start feeling pressured, they give away a very artificial sign.

This sign for your ex is to be over you. The second sign your ex is merely pretending to be over you is when he or she goes the extra mile to prove so. The more your ex tries to prove a point by defending himself or herself when others tease him or her, the bigger the sign your ex is not over you yet.

Your ex will look for reasons that he or she is over you. They act so irrationally and upset by the breakup, their friends and family can easily spot their erratic behavior. Some life examples of my previous statements are job interviews, public speaking, breakups, reconciliations, crushes. There are a million ways to tell your ex is pretending to be over you.

If you have the privilege to see your ex in person, these are the most noticeable signs to look out for. For example, if your ex refuses to look you in the eyes, this is a sign of guilt, shame and the desire to run away. Other acute body language signs are awkward hugs, little or no body contact, standing away from you and showing you the back, avoiding you. Sometimes exes go above and beyond to show how much fun they are having with other people and post it all over their social media.

In doing so, they deliberately set down traps for dumpees to get caught in. If dumpees fall for these traps, dumpers are then given the opportunity to retaliate in anger, frustration or sadness. If you can catch your ex stalking you profusely on social media—preferably without his or her awareness, you have one of the best signs your ex is pretending to be over you.

An ex pretending to be over you is going to, as the word says— pretend to be over you. Since your ex cares, he or she is going to give away subtle signs of pretending to be over you. A person that blocks and ignores does so out of spite and self-protection and not because of love. Sometimes love really is that simple. Another feasible sign your ex is just pretending to be over you is when your ex refuses to give you your stuff back.My partner left in August of this year, after four years together with kids, mortgage and cats.

It was always a difficult relationship, especially over the last couple of years. We had a lot of money problems and job worries - although he thinks this is abnormal.

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He was very verbally abusive indeed - but he thinks this is my fault as I'm such a terrible person. He began to be physically abusive before he left - but, again, that was my fault as I was provoking him. Looking back, I can see very well that he simply cannot cope with being a grown up, family man.

It's taken months of counselling for me to realise that I'm fine the way I am - that I'm not all the terrible things he said to me. He's the only person in my life that has treated me like that. I can also see that by being so abusive, not only was he letting off steam and directing anger at me in order to blame me for all his problems, but also that he was sabotaging the relationship in order to have a reason to leave or to get me to leave and make him the injured party.

He had one affair and several online flings. I had no idea he was going to leave - but when he did, he had a flat ready and waiting - coincidentally, he says! And pigs might fly! Of course, I do love the man he was but not who he is now. The abuse was wrong, the neglect of the children and myself was wrong. He made a choice to be a family man and was resentful at what he lost in order to have that: 'I can't have what I want if I'm with you and the kids'.

I know that my pain will pass, that we are all better off now and that I will meet someone else when I'm good and ready. I'm 31 so I'm old enough to know that things are getting better - this side of things is ok. My problem is this: he is a liar of such immense proportions that he is driving me beserk. He moved back to his home town and as he had no good reason to leave, he is spinning yarns about me being impossible to live with, a terrible partner and housekeeper, distorting things I said and did to make people feel sorry for him.

He is pretending very well that I've 'killed his spirit'; to his family. He says that I said and did things that never, ever happened. He tells so many lies, even to me, that he trips himself up all the time and lets things slip, contradicting earlier lies he told me. You get the picture! None of these lies actually happened - and I'm obviously not what he says because, for starters, I've got the children. My children are happy and well-balanced. They remember very well how he behaved and he is reluctant to take them to see his family very often, especially the older one.

Obviously he doesn't want them ruining his lies. I've already written to his mother once to give my side of some of the earlier lies. My problem is, what do I do about all this? Wait for what goes around to come around? Contact his family again to give more of my side?

I hate the fact that he is dragging my name through the mud to justify dumping his family but I don't want to look like I'm telling tales. I'm still the mother of his children and I'm really not happy about my kids being around his family and possibly hearing any of this rubbish from him - or from them. His own friends called me a month ago to say that they don't believe a word of what he is saying - people that I rarely had anything to do with before he left! Congratulations on the great good sense you've shown in getting your feelings sorted out, and in getting shot of this silly man.

My feeling is that you should now put all this behind you, try to forget all about this hopeless guy, maybe even move to another part of the country and start again. I think it's entirely reasonable that you hate your ex-partner's lies and that you'd like to put the record straight.Always has been, always will be for as long as the sun rises and sets on us.

Whether it be big lies between a dysfunctional couple, or small white lies told to prevent unnecessary drama from ruining a relationship, most, if not all, people will experience a lie within their relationship at one point in their lives. What happens when the dynamics of the relationship are forced to change because you two are no longer together? Neither of you knows what to say, how to say it, and when. Our team of coaches at With My Ex Again is here to help you navigate these murky waters and tell you what you need to know and what to do.

There are some truths that we just never come back from. In some instances, an ex can be extremely sorry and genuinely remorseful of their actions, enough so that they are willing to live with the shame and guilt of lying to you and keeping the secret they are protecting you from all to themselves. Your ex may also understand that by coming clean to you, they would just be clearing their own conscience at the cost of your pain, which can come off as selfish, depending on who you ask.

Lying, to them, ensures that they can have their cake and eat it too. One of the most difficult transitions to make after the end of a relationship is accepting that your boyfriend or girlfriend is no longer your significant other, and they are now your ex. You have to change old thought patterns and ways of thinking so that you behave appropriately around them.

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And this also means that you are no longer entitled to certain aspects of their life. They are lying to you to prove a point: that you are no longer together and that you no longer belong to each other, you therefore no longer have the privilege to certain kinds of information about their life. There is also the off-chance that your ex is testing you. Will you act rationally or out of control? Will you be able to relax and go with the flow or will you take their lying too personally?

Additionally, if you stay honest, you can hold your head high with a clean conscience and be clear of any blame or wrongdoing.

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You have better things to focus on, like continuing to work on yourself in order to, above all else, be a better person, and secondly, to get your ex back. Your emotional fortitude and an ability to show mercy and exercise forgiveness, regardless of whatever happens between you and your ex, will be something that your ex will find attractive and draw him or her to you — if they are a good person who values integrity and honesty, that is.

Your ex could also easily take advantage of these wonderful qualities and walk all over you. At the end of the day, a lie is a lie and your ex was willing to cross a line from being forthcoming to being dishonest.

my ex is telling lies about me

Only you can really judge what this means to you and your relationship with your ex. If you are wondering how to get over an ex who lieschances are the deceit your ex committed against you was serious enough to warrant putting the final nail in the coffin in which your relationship lies. I do stress, however, that this is extremely difficult to do and usually only possible when you are given a last, final push.

If they confront you in person, you can politely ask them to leave and not harass you. Simply do not give your time or engagement to your ex. Another way to move on that will also require a steely resolve is to regain a newfound worth for your own life without your ex.

This will require two steps. First, make peace with everything that has transpired between you and your ex for the entire time that you knew each other.

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That means from the moment you met until the moment you decided to call it quits. Secondly, appreciate your life as you blossom into an improved version of yourself. Showcase your newfound joy for life to your friends and family, show-off your new activities, or new friends to your old friends and acquaintances. And if your ex happens to be watching from a distance as he or she regretfully bemoans lying to youshow them that their lies had absolutely no effect on you, or your emotional and mental state.

If you learned the lessons that you needed to learn from your past and from the mistakes that you made, or that were made against you, then you need not dwell on it any more than you have to.

If you have adequately prepared for the future and have set the gears in motion for whatever plans you have made, then you can just set it and forget it. What is important is that you enjoy the time you are living through at this very instance. Appreciate what you already have and do not fret about an idealized past or an unrealized future. Be sure to take it all in!

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